Trying to make sense of nonsense
According to an October 2018, Healthline publication, 10 to 15 percent of every known pregnancy ends in miscarriage. Very well family.com published an article in April 2020, that indicated that one in every four pregnancies end in miscarriage.
The question I’m asking is why? Most of the articles I read this week say it’s so common that most people are not even aware that they miscarry.
My oldest daughter is a wonderful human being. She’s the kind of person that you meet and you automatically just root for her success. Mainly because she has such a wonderful heart and a caring soul.
On Easter Sunday this year, she announced that she was expecting. Everyone was extremely excited for her and her husband.
My daughter waited until she was married to have sex for the first time. She managed to marry a grade school sweetheart who some say vowed to marry her when he was in fourth grade.
We have all witnessed this love match and continue to be in awe of the two of them. They both work and go to school and seem to have a handle on this relationship stuff better than most people way older.
This week we learned that she is probably going to have a miscarriage. Having received this devastating news has had me questioning life and how unfair it is sometimes.
Believe me having lived 51 years in this world, I know about the unfairness of life. Divorces, cheating, cancer, murder, lost jobs, other deaths, stolen property and broken hearts from a myriad of reasons.
But all of those experiences pale in comparison to watching my daughter and son-in-law live through the lost of the dream. The little bundle of hope that we all had begun to imagine. We started picking out personalities as well as thinking about the shape of her nose. Yes it was a her.
I feel a profound sense of sadness and this is not my experience. Turns out the condition she has is a blighted ovum. This is where the embryo implants in the uterus but does not develop into a baby.
We have been dreaming of nothing basically, because nothing was there. Why does this happen? Why is it that she could feel all the symptoms of a pregnancy which translates into feeling all of the feelings and desires, just to be monumentally disappointed.
Everyone says oh it’s better that it happened now. She’s still young, there’s still time. It’s just not time yet. The baby was probably not right. WTF! I know most people mean well and all the sentiments are true, but the pain isn’t less painful.
I’m super proud of the way she has handled this situation. I’m not sure I would have been able to be upright, coherent and functioning.
I am wondering moving forward if there is anything in the realm of possibility that will help her to minimize the chances of this happening again. Of course, they recommend, a healthy lifestyle; the right food, exercise, weight loss, water etc.
But that’s the only part a person has control of, the rest is left to chance. I guess you can believe in a higher being and hope that they grant the dream.
It’s funny but I know miracles happen everyday. Feeling powerless, I recognize all I can do is hold onto hope that there is a special miracle for the two of them.
