Fear: We have to break up. It’s definitely you.
The running theme in my life right now is to push myself out of my comfort zone in an effort to live the life that I feel I was always meant to live.
A life without fear, full of amazing experiences, doing what fulfills me, finding my place, being heard and seen topped with love, great relationships and fun.
I feel as if I am a late bloomer and often wish that I was who I am today 20 years ago. I feel this way mainly because I am 51 years old and unfortunately in my mind I think my time is ticking too fast.
In 2014, after a life altering event, my daughter Vicky said, “Mom why don’t you go back to school. We aren’t little anymore and you no longer have to take of us.”
As a result of this conversation and with much fear and trepidation, I decided to return to college. I have always gone, here and there, over the years but this time the deal I made with myself was that if I went back I had to finish.
At the time, I wasn’t in my 50’s yet but I definitely did not know if I could do it. The truth is I had not done it. My logical mind said to myself there has not been any real reason for it not happening other than me and a litany of excuses I used to block my own progress.
The common theme had been fear. Fear of failure, fear of aging, fear of the unknown, big fears and many little fears that were more familiar than the idea of trying.
Today, I am proud to announce that I have completed the requirements for an Associates of Arts Degree for transfer and I have received two acceptance letters from University’s. I wanted to highlight this because for me this is magical and unbelievably astonishing.
This accomplishment has opened a door in my mind that has now become the catalyst for the rest of my life. I no longer think I can’t first. My thoughts about trying something new are now, “might be hard, but I will try.”
I am not afraid to try, sometimes it comes out really good and sometimes not so much but all the time I am in and up for the challenge. I can’t wait to hear my name called and I hope I will be able to walk across a stage with the graduate uniform.
Why have I chosen to write about this? Well the new common theme I am adapting in my life is to no longer fear. And I can’t say this enough to anyone who will listen. Fear can be crippling but don’t let it.
Embrace opportunity with both hands and feet. If its a new career you want, try it. If it’s a new love, try. If it’s a new this or that, just try. I promise you will be happier for the try and you just might have a level of success you did not know was possible.
